To establish context, it's necessary to give some background on my mother's intentions with her estate planning. Several times throughout my life, she would pull me aside to explain that she had left everything to me. While it was awkward to talk about her death, she insisted, concluding each time with the same verbatim statement:
"Don't worry about him or his kids. He's got plenty of money. He's got millions in the bank. They'll be just fine. Everything goes to you."
She even shared this with my friends from time to time, leaving them as puzzled as I was. Clearly, she was concerned that his side of the family would try to manipulate her estate upon her passing. However, she had no idea of what was truly possible.
Moments after my mother passed away in the ICU, all her jewelry (rings and a necklace) was immediately removed by the personal representative (PR)'s daughter. A few days later, I received a text message stating that they had found a key to her safe deposit box to search for her will. Shortly after, I tried to call PR, but he explained that they (he and his daughter) were at a jewelry store. I wasn't in any emotional condition to think much about it at the time.
The following day, I went with them to lunch, and they handed me a ziplock bag taken from the deposit box, filled with every mother's day card I had given her, labeled "special Son stuff." Later, when I read through them, I discovered that she had slipped descriptions and receipts for items in the deposit box into the cards, but I was unaware of this at the time.
A few weeks later, PR informed me that he had found a lawyer to take 'our' case. On the day of the initial legal consultation, PR told me that we were meeting with 'our' attorney. During the consultation, the three of us reviewed and discussed:
We agreed that I was the beneficiary, and the attorney assured me that I would receive copies of all documents and filings.
Weeks passed, and other than the notice of appointment, I received nothing. I later learned what it meant that the case was filed "informally." My right to be informed was waived, along with any requirement for the case to be formally reviewed by the court. PR bragged that he had consulted a second attorney who told him that he could "basically just do whatever he wanted." PR also came to refer to the attorney on retainer as 'his' attorney. I tried to contact her for clarification, but she wouldn't return my phone calls. When I finally got ahold of her, she claimed that the prenuptial agreement wasn't relevant to the case and that she couldn't recall ever seeing the codicil.
After some time had passed, PR left a voicemail stating, "We gotta talk about this 401k thing because YOU have to make a decision." He explained that he had a link to a website describing options for withdrawing and transferring funds. When I spoke to him again and asked about the website, he became defensive, exclaiming, "Hey, somebody just left me a whole lotta money. I could just be a jerk and walk away with it," and changed the subject. When we spoke a second time, I inquired again, and he responded, "She left it to me!" I argued, but he again changed the subject. I was still naive enough at the time to assume that he was just buckling a little under the stress.
We spoke again, and he asked what I had planned for the future. I replied that I intended to start a business. "Well, it's good to have dreams!" he said, laughing. In further conversations, he began mocking me with statements like, "You oughta sell your patio furniture. You're gonna need money." I stopped talking to PR at this point. I eventually received the inventory of her estate, which included none of her tangible personal assets.
Having had only temporary jobs since Covid hit, I was indeed broke. It was also clear at this point that I was in dire need of legal help. For several months, I studied estate law and learned what I could from free consultations with attorneys. I sought legal representation through CLS, a provider of free legal services for low-income residents, but discovered that the only representative in my small town shares an office with PR's attorney and couldn't help me due to a conflict of interest.
One of the requirements of his fiduciary duty was to pay utilities for the property I live in. A few months into probate, I contacted the utility companies and discovered that they were several months delinquent. I paid the electric bill at that time.
After several more months of waiting, just prior to probate closing, I received a call from his attorney. She explained that 'they' had an offer for me. The house (the only home I have), worth approximately $140k, could be sold with the proceeds distributed equally in a 50/50 split in order to satisfy his 'gift' (the $50k bequeathment intended to cover probate costs). Important to note here is the fact that there is no mention of the other house, which he was meant to have life estate in, but not ownership, or any of her other assets. I promptly rejected this offer. I later received an email with a request to choose between a couple of equally unreasonable offers. I ultimately responded by simply stating that I was prepared to file the following forms with the court:
Shortly thereafter, I received an email from PR stating that the deed to my home had been signed over to me. The attorney sent me an email stating that the deeds to both properties were mailed to me. I never received them.
Probate is now closed with the following details:
The final accounting contains PRs estimated costs with no mention of the delinquent utility bills, and a falsified cost for a service that doesn't exist at my address. There is also no mention of her 401k, her bank accounts, or any of her tangible personal assets. A search of county records returns "Personal Representative's" deeds for the two properties with a misspelling of my name. The deed to the marriage home is not recorded as a proper life estate deed, but there is an addendum included that mentions my name, again, misspelled. I'm told that I may be able to pay a title company to correct the misspelling. PRs attorney refuses to make the corrections, responding with, "Probate is closed." There is no explanation for the disappearance of her other assets, including the contents of her safe deposit box, (the family heirlooms she described to me and left record of) her life savings, the jewelry she was wearing, her checking accounts. It all walked away.